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Purpose, Produce & Paunch

Well today is somewhat of a good eating day in the sense where I had three meals today plus a snack, but ate out for most of today.

I had take out but I am over stuffed and a bit bloated because I ended up dating way to much.

I shouldn’t be eating that much in one day but I can try again tomorrow for the fact of the matter that I need to work on eating less and not snacking.

I should remember how I feel to know that I don’t want to be feeling this way at all. I do want this feeling to be of the past.

I do need to be able to handle food better so that way I can be making better choices for myself.

I was thinking that the reasons why I wanted to be eating better and they are as follows:

Food: I want to be able to handle or be around food and know that I don’t need to be eating it, I am not here for food. That I can eat whatever, whenever I want to be eating but that doesn’t mean that I need to be eating all the time. I don’t want to be overeating, I want to eat slower as well as use a napkin when I eat but at the same time if I was taking smaller bites then I wouldn’t be needing a napkin at all. Just because I think of something to eat doesn’t mean that I have to instinctual at on it.

Entertainment: Just because people are eating on the TV doesn’t mean that I have to be eating as well. Just because I am watching a movie or spending time with my partner watching a show doesn’t mean that I have to be eating as well. Just because we are going out to watch a movie or having a night out like a date night doesn’t mean that I need to be having a meal with it as well. Food is not entertainment. Just because it is a certain day of a week or a holiday doesn’t mean that I should eat. Just because something monumental happened in my life doesn’t mean that I should be eating for food.

Body: I should always be thinking about my body. Sometimes it is hard to breath when doing stair. It is becoming increasingly harder to tie my shoes. I think that it is disgusting that my hangs over my cut so much that I can tuck my hand underneath it. My arms do have wings which move when I wave. I don’t like this about my body so I should be doing something about it.

Society: I think that society has a particular view on how people and woman specifically should look like and I believe that to be true. I think that those who are thin do get better treatment and I think it is wise because even if they are facially ugly they look better because they are thin. I believe that the thin is the most ideal body shape to be. I also think that if I ran into someone from my past life, my small town then I would like to look a certain way and not that I have let myself go or that I am the same old person that I was in a past life. I am a different person so I should be acting like it. My outward appearance should match what I feel like on the inside.

The lesson that I should be doing:

Be the change that I want to be.

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